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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29749329">Bound ~ Loki Laufeyson</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Apricuspeach/pseuds/Apricuspeach'>Apricuspeach</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fan fiction - Fandom, Loki - Fandom, Loki laufeyson - Fandom, Loki: Agent of Asgard, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:27:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,578</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29749329</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Apricuspeach/pseuds/Apricuspeach</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You're the goddess of healing and you've settled into a life of serving the Frost Giants, that is until Loki shows up and reveals a world beyond the frozen realm. Can you heal the god of Mischief?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki - Relationship, LokiXReader - Relationship, readerxLoki - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. A Man of Warmth and Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Warnings: Mild mentions of slavery and or servants</p><p> </p><p>Jotunheim was a cold an unforgiving place, the kind of place that begged you to make one wrong step so it could plunge you into the depths of an icy hell. There was never any sun, rarely any quiet as the harsh winds howled against cave walls. Home to the frost giants, who’s demeanor matched the harsh surroundings. You stuck out like a sore thumb, small and fragile compared to the 10 ft monsters, skin soft and bright in contrast with their rigged blue skin. Your hair must’ve looked like a field of Tigerlily’s… or a warm bright light in the vast frozen land, yet you were from Jotunheim.</p><p>Y/N, otherwise known as Eir, the goddess of healing, or the white goddess. A myth. A name your mother took before you, and her mother took before her. Your purpose. Your legacy. You’d only ever known Jotunheim, grew up in the icy caverns with your mother. You’d never seen the sun, never seen other forms of life, and never seen delicacies like plants or crops. That is until you met the prince of Asgard. </p><p>Your day started the same as it had for the last year and a half, after your mother passed away… and the power of healing moved onto you. You got up before Mengloo awoke, resting the back of your hand to a thick cloth door that was nailed to the entrance of your cavern. There was no wind pushing against the cloth, no blizzard storms to worry about… so you shrugged on a thick fur cloak and made your way outside with a pot. There was a snowy path leading down from your cavern to a small stream, blocked off by a thin layer of ice, hiding the treasure below. Taking the handle of your pot, you broke a hole into the thin ice and got yourself fresh cold drinkable water. </p><p>Heading back to the cavern, you started up the firepit and put the pot over it, to heat up morning tea for the frost giant you served. He remained in his peaceful slumbers whilst you worked on his breakfast, long legs peeking out of the layers of fur pelts on the cave ground where he slept. A full enclosed cavern, fresh water and firewood, fur pelts. You’d think you were living the simple life, but on Jotunheim those were luxuries. You lived in Jotun royalty, Mengloo being someone close to the throne. </p><p>Generations ago, Healing Goddesses were companions for Valkyrie. They lived on the battlefield, faced war and violence, they were warriors. Certainly not Frost Giant servants. You started another simple day of serving your frost giant, a fate you succumbed to after taking your mothers place as the healer. However today… Laufey had other plans for you. “Mengloo, Sir… time to wake up, before your tea gets cold.” You said lightly, kneeling next to him and handing him a wooden mug as he sat up. The blue of the skin on his throat lightened as he swallowed the hot liquid, returning to its icy blue when warmth left. </p><p>Hearing banging by the cavern entrance, you picked up the plate of breakfast and placed it down in front of Mengloo before greeting whoever was at the door. Usual guards. “The king requires your presence.” They told you… wait. “Me specifically? Not Mengloo?” You asked, you were never called to the king personally before. Glancing back at your Master one last time, you pulled up your hood, pulled on your fur cloak and walked out of that prison for the very last time. Mengloo would never see you again and neither of you had any idea… Though he’d have an idea that something was happening when Laufey unbound the two of you. </p><p>Walking through the dark and icy paths, one guard in front of you and another behind… you made your way to the throne room. A vast and open ice room with large ice spikes and a throne. As you walked into view of your king, you saw the prince of Asgard. “This is the goddess you speak of?” He asked Laufey, the words flowing from him like a sheet of silk. The smile he gave you was almost classified as a smirk, had there not been a certain warmth hiding beneath it. You’d never seen someone so inviting, then again, the only other person you knew with your height was your mother… until now. He stood tall with soft eyes and raven locks that commanded the attention of the room, your eyes couldn’t pull away from the gold detailing that adorned his otherwise boring armoured clothes. </p><p>“You asked to see me my king?” You asked, clasping your hands together anxiously as you awaited your fate, what was all this about anyways? “You’ll switch your loyalties over to this gentleman here.” He ordered, your face twisting in confusion. The butterflies in your stomach rampaged, the fear of a world you’d never seen before freezing you to your core, you were afraid to breathe. If you were thinking clearly, you’d realize anything was better than an iced over realm, plunged into darkness. You’d grown up here, you’d never known anything else. Also, why? You were a healer, why would they give you up? </p><p>What they’d both keep hidden from you, was the fact that Loki was actually a Frost Giant, heir to the throne of Jotunheim… once upon a time anyways. You were but a consolation prize to keep Loki from rebelling against the Jotun’s. Sold to another master, except it wouldn’t be like that at all… Where the Frost Giants were cold and uninviting, Loki was the opposite. </p><p>“May I ask why, my king?” You tried softly, flinching back as he stood to intimidate you. You stood there hesitantly for a moment longer before waving a hand up into the air. A golden light followed the path of your hand as you swirled it around your body, as the bright light began to fade, it revealed Norse wording. The words slowly spun around your body, encouraging you to read them, the words that bound you to Mengloo. You were the only one that could break the bond, and the fear to do it was slowly beginning to fade. How bad could a life with the golden prince be? You swiped your hand down into the floating golden words and they shattered into what looked like gold pixie dust. </p><p>Mengloo could feel it immediately, like pins pricking him all over, every shard of their bond cutting through him and healing over, one last time... The golden dust seeped into the frozen ground, and with that your bond meant nothing, you were free. You slowly made your way down the throne steps and over to Loki, pulling off your hood to fully show yourself to him. “I’m Loki, of Asgard. It’s a pleasure.” He said softly, taking your hand and kissing it. “Y/N… or I guess, Eir… The goddess of healing.” Honestly, you weren’t used to saying it. “Y/N it is then.” He knew it wasn’t what you should technically be called, but it brought you comfort, it was your name for most of your life… so if it’s what brought you more comfort and stability, then Y/N is what he would call you. </p><p>You tensed in the slightest, watching pale slender hands smooth the thick fur cloak off your shoulders, after all you wouldn’t need it on Asgard. He let it fall to the frozen ground without a care, turning to leave and putting his hand out to usher for you to go first. “Don’t you want me to do the binding spell?” You asked him, brows stitching together in confusion, after all Mengloo wasted no time in having you as his property. You watched as his brow quirked. “My dear, we’ve only just met.” He countered swiftly, giving you a dashing smile and walking over to a strange pattern that had burned into the ground.</p><p>You approached slowly, looking at the Norse symbolling before meeting him in the center of the circle. “You might want to hold onto me.” He said, matter of fact before shouting ‘Heimdall’ at the sky. Your eyes widened and your brows scrunched up with worry, convinced you were with a maniac as an arm snaked around your waist and firmly pulled you into his scent. “Open the Bifrost, please!” He called, it sounded familiar… your features softened as you remembered the stories your mother told, he wasn’t a lunatic… you were just about to travel a rainbow bridge. </p><p>A blast of light and sheer energy had your eyes squeezing shut, heart racing as your fingers dug into the leather vest that wrapped his slender body. It was like moving up an elevator but faster, and you could feel the wind from the momentum, the slightest chill of space around you. Your eyes slowly opened, first seeing him smiling sweetly down at your uncertain face. His hair trickling down in his face from the wind, then your eyes found the beautiful crystal rainbow around you. You didn’t think there could be anything dark about this person, everything about him by nature felt warm and safe. The calm in a storm. </p><p>Arriving in a gold room, you took a second to fathom everything you’d just seen, for Jotunheim was the only place you’d experienced until now. It was morning, and the sunlight from outside was peeking through the doorway to the rainbow bridge, giving a teasing peek at the magnificence that was Asgard’s gold world. “H-hello.” You muttered lightly, faced with a man dressed in all gold. “And who might you be?” He asked. “Y/N.” Loki answered for you, did he not want you to feel that you had to use your formal name? Or did he want to hide the fact that you were a healer… a Valkyrie’s companion, alive and well. </p><p>He offered you his arm and you took it, following him out onto the rainbow bridge where you squinted from bright light. It was warm, inviting, and it made you think of Loki. Your first thought of him, warm… inviting. Your eyes opened and the shock of the beauty surrounding you had your body freeze in place. Ocean’s, waterfalls, a bright blue sky… and in the distance, a gold castle. It was divine, straight from a fairy tale, it simply couldn’t be real. “It’s incredible…” You muttered, turning to face Loki before stumbling back with a shriek. A horse, you were meeting a horse. It was bigger than you and it insisted on chewing on your dress, terrifying… truly. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s alright.” He encouraged gently, stroking the horse’s forehead and down the crest. Taking a step forward, you hesitantly reached a hand up to touch the valiant creature, only to flinch back when it made a sound. “She won’t hurt you.” He reassured. “Have you never travelled outside Jotunheim?” He asked softly as he moved out of your sight, standing close behind you. “No, never.” You answered, feeling his presence leaning over your shoulder. “Like a little lamb.” He taunted softly, not that you really knew what that was. His hand wrapped around your forearm and gently forced your hand in petting the horse, shoulders relaxing as you realized it was safe. “Hello, horse.” You whispered, a giggle following. You were in heaven, you just had to be. </p><p>Loki could offer you so much more than the Frost Giants could, treated you better within the last hour than the Frost Giants ever would. You were forced into a contract with Mengloo, treated as a servant for him and yet Loki gave you nothing but freedom. You watched as he stepped into the stirrup and swung his leg over, sitting proud on the horse as he waited for you to follow his lead. “That’s not happening.” You lightly protested, you made friends with the horse, but that didn’t mean you were confident enough to climb on. “Scared?” He taunted, chuckling at your pout and reaching out a hand to help you up. “You won’t win this one little lamb; you’re getting on this horse.” It was not up for debate, but he also didn’t sound stern either. Giving in to his stare, you grabbed his hand and climbed on the horse behind him, your arms wrapping around his waist instantly. You were on Asgard, your arms wrapped around a golden prince, this officially marked a new beginning.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Bound To You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Warnings: Mild violence and blood </p><p> </p><p>Riding into Asgard’s city was like bringing a book to life, the stories your mother read to you about the world was revealing itself to you like a magical dream. The realm had so much gold that it decorated the buildings of the people, you were practically hanging off the side of the horse to see all the crops and fruit trees. “There! Look, that’s a peach tree.” You explained, as if you could teach the god about his own home. “These are grape vines… wow.” You couldn’t be any more stunned, it just brought you so much joy. It was as if your mother were here with you in the storybook. The corner of Loki’s lips pulled into the smallest of smiles, trying not to ruin your moment but thoroughly entertained with your behaviour. </p><p>You’d been so distracted by plants and trivial things, you failed to notice the extravagant gold castle coming into view. Pillars that practically reached the sky, designs sketched into the golden walls. The building was a huge maze of decadences and old relics, drenched in luxury. The fairy tale blinded you, whisked away by a raven-haired prince, promised a life of beauty. However, as you walked the golden halls, you noticed how empty it seemed. You watched the ceilings above, beautiful paintings of their history decorating everywhere you walked. Where was Odin? Where was Thor? Where was the Queen? He wanted you to see his perfect illusion, that he and Asgard were perfect. That he could do no wrong. </p><p>“I’m sure you’re rather warm in your winter dress, we should get you changed into something more… Asgardian.” Loki suggested, your ogling at the ceiling not going unnoticed by the god. He walked ahead, leading you to the sleeping chambers, the light smile slowly beginning to fade as he acknowledged his reality… One he simply was not ready to show you. He ran a hand down his face to try and erase the stress before smiling back at you and opening a door. “My room is across the hall; I won’t be far.” He explained, watching you walk into the large room and closing the door behind you. “There’s a spare room in the royal family’s quarters?” You asked yourself, brows furrowed as you walked around the large room and over to the balcony. </p><p>The balcony overlooked the city, cherry blossoms leaving pink petals on the floor of the balcony. The sky was bright, something you weren’t used to, but not too bright for you to be able to see the surrounding stars and planets. There was a hue of different colors to the cloudy space-like sky, something out of this world. How were you supposed to change into something Asgardian exactly? Your eyes scanned the room you were in for a dress hanging up somewhere, beginning to notice small things. A bottle of cologne on the nightstand, a large sock left slightly under the bed. This wasn’t a spare room… was it? Walking over to the closet, you opened it to see menswear, leather garments and red capes. “Thor.” You muttered, remembering the images on the ceiling. Did Loki really think you wouldn’t find out who’s room you were staying in?</p><p>Hearing a knock at the door, you quickly closed the door to the closet and rushed over to sit on the edge of the oversized bed. “Come in!” You called, watching three women with bold hair choices scurry in, dresses on a rack and ready to go. “Hello my lady, please pick which you’ll wear today.” They all muttered, just slightly out of unison with one another. The dresses were light and thin, decorated with hints of gold and some with floral patterns. You looked down at your plain and thick navy-blue dress, feeling completely out of place before you picked a lighter blue dress from the rack. </p><p>You were pulled left and right, Asgardian servants in some kind of frenzy to get you looking acceptable enough for their liking. You found yourself in the bathroom, one woman smearing shiny stuff on your cheekbones, another pulling your hair up into weird ways, the third pulling down the zipper on the back of your dress. “Enough! please stop...” You panicked, feeling violated and overwhelmed, then offering them an awkward and apologetic smile as they quickly backed off of your personal bubble. </p><p>You were staying in Thor’s room… at least for now. The fairy tale story would come to an end sooner or later, you’d have questions for the god of mischief. Loki wanted it to be simpler, he didn’t even want to be the king of Asgard, in truth he missed his oaf of a brother. He sighed at the ceiling, laid back on his bed and tossing a small golden statue into the air before catching it. Sure… he let the Frost Giant’s into Asgard, but it wasn’t like they couldn’t handle the threat…right? If he really thought about it, Thor went to Jotunheim by his own choice, Thor started a fight by his own choices… and Thor got exiled by his own choices. Or perhaps it was all a butterfly effect beginning with Loki, bringing him right back around to self-guilt. “Perhaps it all began with Odin.” He hissed out an argue, grip tightening around the small gold statue in his hand, a snake curled around a rock being its appearance. He set the decoration back on its nightstand and raised a brow as a certain someone peeked into the room. </p><p>“You look exquisite.” He purred, pulling himself up to stand as your eyes trailed the room. It was much different than Thor’s, there was care and warmth to this room. It was adorned with elegant old-fashioned books, paintings and statues to decorate the space. It was nice. “I want to show you something.” He spoke softly, pulling your attention back into him and his intoxicating smile. Blinded again, left to abandon the questions you held to the back of your mind. </p><p>“What is it?” You questioned, following him down the hall and towards sunlight peeking inside the golden palace. It was another hall, just missing the left wall, extravagant pillars lining where the wall would’ve been. It opened up to a large garden, completed with paths and fountains, rows upon rows of bushes and flowers. Loki guessed you’d appreciate this sight, as the only thing you spoke about in your travels to the castle was the plants surrounding you. You were in awe as soon as you’d seen it, running up to the bushes to get closer to the flowers. You lightly touched them and leaned down to smell them, until another type of flower caught your eye and you ran over to that one. </p><p>The only reason Loki caught up to you was because you’d become absolutely smitten with the discovery of Roses. You sat down on the bench and looked rather closely at the stunning creation, barely noticing Loki sit down next to you. He remembered curling up on these very benches, learning everything he could about the flowers in the books he’d read. Though girls would nod along and pretend to be interested, they didn’t actually care, they wanted to marry their way into royalty. “Those are Roses, one of the oldest flowers in existence. They produce ten different colors, all with different meanings to them.” His voice was soft, like his stories could lull you to a peaceful sleeping state. “What are the meanings?” You asked, interest peaked as you turned to look at him.</p><p>As he spoke, he used his illusion magic to create a red rose in his hand, smiling a wide and genuine smile as he watched you try desperately to touch this flower. Your hand of course went right through to softly touch the palm of his hand, the red rose appearing again once you took your hand away. “Woah…” You muttered to yourself, he was a magic user. “Red symbolizes love and romance.” He started, the illusion swirling until it settled into a shade of pink. “Pink roses symbolize elegance and grace.” Your eyes fixated on the magic flower, watching it swirl until it was a pale-yellow shade. “Yellow represents friendship and cheerfulness.” He continued, taking you through the journey of each flower. </p><p>Loki was the most captivating being you’d ever met, he was inviting, gentle and comforting. It was as if there were a force pulling you to him, telling you to bind yourself to him. You watched as he picked a pink rose and handed it to you, a real one that you could touch. “I think the pink suits you.” He said lightly, you could recognize it for the compliment that it was… Elegance and Grace. “Where is your family?” You asked quietly, you wanted to become his healer… but not if he couldn’t be honest with you. You watched the seriousness take hold of his facial features, stealing his smile from him. “If you want me to be your healer, to bind myself and devote myself to you and only you. Then I deserve the truth.” You words were soft and gentle, but still held enough demand for an answer. </p><p>“I’m the king of Asgard.” He started cautiously, sitting back and looking at the ground. “It happened recently, suddenly… My brother…” He took his dramatic pause, his feelings half truthful and half deceitful. “My brother, was obsessed with the idea of war. He wasn’t ready to be king, he was more raised as a warrior. He nearly started a war with the Jotun’s, almost got people killed. For that my father banished him… not long after his exile, my father fell ill. I shouldn’t get into detail, it’s not something widely talked about on Asgard. My mother… she hasn’t left my fathers bedside.” “I’m sorry.” You interjected, guilt weighing on your heart. “I shouldn’t have asked; these are personal things…” You started, feeling as though you shouldn’t have made him explain himself. Sitting up straight, you looked him in the eyes. “I’ll be your healer, Loki.” </p><p>Tucking the pink rose into your hair, you slowly stood and turned to face Loki. Raising your arms at your sides, your eyes closed and you channeled your energy, speaking in Old Norse. You were technically using Asgardian magic; the same magic Frigga had taught him. That didn’t make sense to Loki, something he’d have to look into after your binding spell was complete.<br/>
As the words of the binding spell left your lips, they floated in a glowing gold above you. You stated the name of the god you were binding yourself to, Loki tensing for the slightest of<br/>
seconds before looking away, wondering to himself if the spell would even work. ‘Loki Odinson’ it wasn’t technically true. As you completed the spell, the words shattered and fell into dust, startling you. </p><p>You stared at Loki blankly, this had never happened before, and you had no idea what you did wrong… “I…” You muttered, looking at the remnants of magic that seeped into the garden path and disappeared. “Loki Laufeyson.” He stated suddenly, and overabundance of solemnity. He was forcing it not to be a big deal, keeping it blunt, but to you it was. To you it both answered questions and gave you more, this was why you were standing here with Loki now. He’s technically the prince of Jotunheim… but of course he never will be, so he gets you instead. It didn’t change anything for you, you planned to commit yourself to him, so that was exactly what you were going to do.</p><p>Closing your eyes once more, your shoulders dropped in relaxation as you focused and channeled your energy once more, speaking in Old Norse to work the spell. “Ég bind mig við þig Loki Laufeyson.” Was the last of the spell, a promise to bind yourself to him. Shall he ever be injured, you’d appear to him, and heal him. The golden words swirled in a circle above your head, catching momentum and picking up to a speed you couldn’t keep up with. It floated higher and higher, spread wider and wider. Then suddenly, the glowing script dropped to the height of your waists and snapped inwards. Loki flinched, his eyes squeezing shut, convinced this was going to hurt him. He felt the warmth of the sun seep into his very bones, any evidence of a spell being cast was gone. For the words weren’t written in the air, they were etched into their very skeletons. Their ribcages a contract that bound them to one another, signed by the universe itself. </p><p>“I-it’s … done?” Loki asked, looking himself over for anything. “It’s done.” You confirmed, eyes widening when he pulled out a dagger. “T-that’s not necessary!” You tried, watching as he sliced his arm with it. Rolling your eyes and sighing, your hands hovered over the wound, eyes closing as you used the power you were born with. Below your hands erupted a soft yellow light, a warm light that slowly healed his arm back to perfect condition, no scar in sight. “Are you convinced now?” You asked, chuckling at the god.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. I'm Sorry</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Warnings: Imprisonment, mentions of blood and death</p><p>Note: Everything in italics is a past experience or memory </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A few weeks had passed since you bound yourself to Loki, soon realizing your fate was to stay within the never ending but very empty castle walls. You sat on your balcony whenever the sun set, the darkness feeling familiar and comforting. As you sat there and watched the stars, your hand slowly found its way to your back, stroking the area with you thumb and remembering two weeks ago.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Don’t be silly my lady, let’s get you washed up.” The Asgardian servant tsked, pulling your dress off. Privacy wasn’t common on Asgard, they were there to do their job and their job was to get you decent for the day. After all you had no understandings of a bathtub, using natural hot springs for most of your life. “The mark.” One Asgardian gasped, two other women gathering behind to gawk at your body. Feeling self-conscious, you sunk lower into the bath water. “I can finish bathing on my own.” You muttered, feeling around for something on your back but not noticing a thing. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“She’s one of them.” One woman mentioned. “I didn’t think any were still alive.” Another followed, did it have something to do with the fact that you were a healer? Otherwise, you were at a loss. Climbing out of bathtub, you wrapped a towel around yourself and walked out into the main room to look in the full-sized mirror. Dropping the towel to your waist, you turned and examined, and there it was, mid-back to the right. “How…” You muttered, it looked like a tattoo, but you’d never gotten one before. “The mark of a Valkyrie.” A soft female voice answered you, you quickly pulled the towel back on yourself before facing the woman. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>Blonde, a bit older, wearing more gold than the other women… Frigga? “My son is quiet, always has been. I’ve learned to understand him in deeper ways than words, so of course I knew he was hiding a girl in Thor’s room.” She said softly, offering an inviting smile and the lightest of chuckles. She walked closer and draped a robe over your shoulders. “You’re a healer, your ancestors were Valkyrie, Companions to our great warriors. Deciding who lived and recovered, joined battles on the side of life as the warriors picked the side of death. Come with me.” She spoke, leading you out of the room. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>You walked the castle with her as she talked about your history, told you anything you could want to know about the Valkyrie’s of healing. “How did I end up with the Frost Giants?” You asked, as the two of you approached a mural with some of Asgard’s history. You came face to face with a ginger goddess, harbouring the mark of the Valkyrie and creating light magic in her hands. “We’ve been battling with Jotunheim for thousands of years; it’s been the calmest it’s ever been… but I fear that peace won’t last much longer.” Her voice was calm, but when you glanced over at her, you noticed the tears threatening to leave her eyes. “because… Odin is sick?” You asked, it was bold, you weren’t supposed to know. “It’s different this time… we weren’t prepared, we put it off for too long.” She muttered; it was like she was telling herself. </em>
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</p><p>Pulling your hand from your back, you slowly stood and gave the night sky one more glance before turning in and closing the balcony doors. You were learning the layout a lot better now, a left, a right and another left and you were on your way to the throne room where Loki did his usual overthinking. “It’s late, what are you still doing out here?” You asked sweetly, stopping when two guards stepped in your way. You skipped up the steps to his throne after he waved the guards off and leaned close to cup his cheek with your hand. A subtle glow to the palm of your hand revealed that he indeed exhausted himself today as your powers worked to replenish just a bit. What was he so stressed about?</p><p> </p><p>He shrugged away from you before you finished your mild healing, causing you to crouch down so he’d look at you. “Loki, what has gotten in to you?” You tried gently, grasping his hands in yours as he looked down at you from his throne, he didn’t want to tell you his plans for the evening. You knew him to be a lot sweeter than this, was he showing his true colors? Or was he going through something? “You should head to bed.” He answered coldly and although you had a bad feeling, you turned to leave. You just couldn’t wrap your head around what was happening, his whole demeanor had changed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Guess who?” Loki asked from behind you, hands over your eyes. “Gee, I wonder.” You answered, feigning confusion before tilting your head up to look at the god and his icy blue eyes. “I think you need a new adventure.” He announced, circling your bench in the garden and planting himself in front of you. He’d given you his book about flowers, and you’d spent the next week in the garden. “I’ve not finished my book.” You protested lightly, gasping as it was snatched from your nimble fingers. “Hey! You’ll lose the page!” You proclaimed, climbing the bench in an attempt to match his height, long arm still holding your book just out of your reach. “I know the page, Miss. Marigold.” He flirted, smirking at you which had you realizing how close you were to him. </em>
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  <em>Shrinking down in response, you slumped back to sitting on your garden bench, face as red as the Marigold’s behind you. He picked a leaf from a bush and tucked it in your book, snapping it closed and outstretching his hand to you. You were amazed by the massive garden, but it was time you discovered something else. So you took his slender hand and you followed him through the outdoor paths that surrounded the castle, coming up to Asgard’s biggest library, over 70,000 books to read and learn from. Your eyes were pleased to see a bit less gold, rather you were seeing cream stucco walls with gold detailing to keep it shamelessly Asgardian. </em>
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  <em>“What is this place?” You asked, looking up at the large brown and gold doors. “Where my soul lives.” He added softly, opening the doors to reveal to you a library. The ceiling was painted to portray a bright blue sky with clouds and Pegasus flying around, leading into a sunset as you walked further in. You nearly walked into a statue because of your eyes being glued to the ceiling, but that beautifully painted sunset led into a night sky. There were rows upon rows upon rows of bookshelves. You watched as Loki picked up a novel and climbed onto one of the window sills, big arched windows decorating the whole library and allowing for lots of sunlight. This was about to be your new favourite place, where would you even start? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Thinking about the time you spent with Loki so far had you smiling, almost forgetting how seriously he just ordered you away. You brushed it off as the stress of a king, a king of nine realms. Walking down the steps, you started on your way back to your room, just rounding the corner when you heard someone approaching Loki in the throne room. “The Destroyer is ready sir.” You froze in your spot, what the hell is ‘The Destroyer’ and why would he need it? Peaking around the corner, you watched as a small portal opened up, showing another planet. “What’s going on?” You asked calmly, there was an easy answer to this… there had to be.</p><p> </p><p>“I am doing work that has to be done for the sake of nine realms, I’m quite sure I told you to leave did I not?” He hissed, he was caught in the act and he knew it, so he turned to lies and lashing out at you. You listened to him read you stories, you went for walks with him, he showed you his magic tricks… this was NOT him and you knew it, after all Frigga told you about the two of them, stories of them as kids. “Look… I’m not trying to interrogate you, you just seem troubled and I want to help, I know you’d do the same for me.” You explained, hell… he already had.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“No Mama! You can’t” You cried, watching Frost Giants drag Laufey into the throne room, your mother had blood dripping from her nose. She could barely keep herself standing, healing a Frost Giant warrior before moving on to Laufey next. “It’s too much! You’re out of magic… you’re using your life force! Mama!” “Hush child!” A frost Giant hissed to you. “Just do the king, forget the others.” Mengloo told her, and she convinced herself she could handle it. “Mamaaa!!!” You screamed, it was going to kill her, they were asking for too much!</em>
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  <em>Feeling hands on your shoulders, you jolted awake, fear chilling you down to the bones as you thrashed around in a state of panic. “It’s me, it’s me! You’re alright, you’re safe.” Loki soothed, rubbing your shoulders with his thumbs until you calmed and looked up at him. “You were screaming in your sleep.” He said, shock and worry all over his face. He released you to give you space and watched as you scrunched up in a ball, hugging your knees. “Sorry… it’s nothing.” You insisted, watching him stand from the edge of the bed. “Come, you shouldn’t be alone.” And he sure as hell wasn’t sleeping in THOR’S bed… </em>
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  <em>He held out his hand to you and waited for you to take it, walking just across the hall to his room and letting you inside. He had a royally decorated sconce on each wall, dimly lighting his room so he wasn’t sleeping in pitch black darkness. It was nice, warm even. Ushering you to his bed, you felt slightly nervous about climbing in with him, but you were still shaking from your nightmare so you obliged. Climbing into silk green sheets, you practically disappeared in all the comfy bedding, nudging yourself closer to his warmth and closing your eyes. After a minute or two you opened them and saw his eyes closed. “Loki?” You mumbled, unsure if he’d fallen asleep already or not. “Yes?” He answered with his eyes still closed. “Thank you.” You muttered before closing your eyes to sleep, missing the fact that he reopened his and smiled softly at you. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t be foolish, Y/N. This situation is simply beyond you.” You could hear explosions and screaming through the small portal he was seeing everything through, and to think you hadn’t stopped to question WHO he was using The Destroyer against. You turned and looked through it, watching Sif and the warriors three run from the scene. You didn’t know them extremely well or anything, but you knew they were close friends. “Why are you attacking them?” You asked, more shock and fear across your features now that violence was before your very eyes, your face pale.</p><p> </p><p>You saw a blonde man in a very simple t-shirt but guessed it was Thor thanks to Sif and the others. “Why are you attacking your brother?!” You panicked, watching the guards ready themselves to take you away, had you have been anyone else you would’ve been removed already. “He’s betrayed his home, he’s a fugitive and I have no choice but to-“ “More lies!” You interrupted, yelling now. Frigga told you about Thor, told you what really happened. “Enough! Stop painting your brother as the villain, you’re acting childishly!” You cried, pushing him just a bit to far.</p><p> </p><p>He quickly stood, towering over you angrily and staring into your eyes while he addressed the guards. “Bring her to her room.” He practically growled, but the look of horror on your face visibly hurt him and his shoulders slouched after he said it. “Wait.” He begged, the guards pausing with their hands on you. “Brother, whatever I have done to wrong you… whatever I have done to lead you to do this, I am truly sorry.” Thor spoke, the two of you turning to look at the portal, watching Thor walk right up to the destroyer. You felt it was too late to try and console Loki and talk him down from this, there were lives on the line… “I’m telling Frigga.” You snapped, but there was shakiness in your voice.</p><p> </p><p>As you began to storm off you heard how he felt about it, cursing under his breath before succumbing to the idea of imprisoning you. He felt as though it wasn’t something he wanted to do, but HAD to do… and he was wrong, he didn’t have to do this. “Hey… stop! Unhand me!” You boomed, panicked as you were carried against your will to your room. You truly saw what such a soft and warm person was capable of, locking you away and killing his own brother. You could see the hesitation in his eyes, he would regret this for the rest of his life. Eventually hearing footsteps coming to the door, you ran to it and yanked on the doorknob. “Loki? Is that you? Please, let me out, just talk to me!” You called out, and he stood there silently with his forehead pressed against it… until he cast a spell to keep you trapped in the room with magic. He couldn’t risk getting hurt and having you warp to him after all. “I’m sorry…” Was the last thing he said before he was gone, and you didn’t realize at that very moment… that you wouldn’t hear his voice again for a very long time.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Grief</h2></a>
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    <p>Warnings: Mentions of death</p><p> </p><p>Denial. He wasn’t hurt, he was okay… even though you could sense that he was injured with your entire being from inside this room, you decided he had to be okay. “What the hell is going on?!” You raged, slamming yourself into the large door that wouldn’t budge. This had never happened before, as a healer if Loki were to be hurt, you’d warp to him. That’s how your abilities worked, yet here you were, trapped in this room. How could Loki do this to you? Your throat was sore from yelling at the door so you eventually collapsed on the bed and just waited, making your reality worse by thinking back to everything sweet Loki did for you, like your brain was sifting through memories, trying to make it make sense. </p><p>You weren’t sure how long you’d been laying there for, but the handle of the door turned and you jolted up. “Hello?! Loki?!” You called, hearing a frustrated growl through the door and a very loud bang on it. Your eyes widened and you backed as far as you could from it. “Why the hell can’t I get in my room?!” The voice boomed. Thor. His behaviour escalated before Frigga scurried over, after all lightning wouldn’t exactly work against a binding spell now would it? “My dear please, allow me.” The voice was muffled, you could hardly hear her as she explained who you were to Loki, why you were in the room and worked on unlocking the spell herself. </p><p>Watching them walk in, you opened your mouth to demand answers… but the look on Thor’s face stopped you and you found yourself frozen on the spot. Loki was trying to kill Thor; Thor returns without Loki. You shook your head at your own thoughts, just refusing to acknowledge the thought as the oversized man sat on the edge of his bed and stared at the floor. “GRAHHH!” He screamed, throwing the chair by the bed across the room before feeling defeat and slumping back down. You didn’t dare turn around, hearing the sounds of quiet sobs from Frigga as she attempted to collect herself for her son’s sake. You remained calm, quiet, and stared at Thor until he acknowledged you, he owed you answers. As his eyes slowly trailed up to meet your eyes, a tear fell from his, but with all the evidence before you, you denied the truth. “Thor.” You started quietly, stopping to swallow the lump in your throat. He knew what it was that you were going to ask, nodding slowly before standing and putting a hand on your shoulder. “Loki… is gone, I’m sorry.” </p><p>Anger. The words set you off like the shot of a gun, smacking his hand off of your shoulder as if you could do damage to the god. “What do you mean gone?” You asked with more severity in your tone, hands shaking. “He’s dead.” He whispered, confirming it. You had him for a little over three weeks, and in that short amount of time you had never felt so free, this wasn’t fair! You wanted more of it, more strolls through the garden, story times in the library. The guilt racked over you with the weight of a crashing wave, you bound yourself to him as a healer and you didn’t save him… you couldn’t save him! You’d been standing there in silence, hearing the pulsing of your heartbeat in your ears until you quickly turned on your heel and ran. You blamed yourself, you knew for a fact had you been there, he’d be alive. You just met the man, you failed on your first opportunity to heal him and it angered you to your core. </p><p>You ran until you found the gardens, collapsing onto the bench you spent your first day on. As you gasped for air, lungs burning as they expanded and contracted, you glanced around at all the memory filled flowers. You spent a lifetime on Jotunheim, lost your mother to the frost giants, served a frost giant like a slave… this was supposed to be your fairy tale ending with a golden prince. </p><p>Bargaining. “Please!” You cried at the clear sky, yelling at the quiet whisps of wind blowing by. “I…I can bring him back, that’s what I do right? I’ll just heal him, there’s probably a book on this…” You muttered, you’d rather distract yourself than face the fact that your future was unknown, the person you’d grown an attachment too was gone, and his family were in shambles. You marched your way to the large library and began picking books off the shelves, anything to do with magic and healing. You stopped and stared at the windowsill Loki used to sit on, narrowing your eyes in determination before climbing up onto the windowsill and opening the first book to look through it. Hours quickly turned into days, a small plate of food untouched beside you as you read through yet another book and wrote some things down on a scroll. </p><p>“Which book is it this time?” Frigga asked quietly, you weren’t sure how long she’d been standing there for. “Soul magic, the power in your soul is different than the magic on Asgard, there may be a way to do a resurrection spell using it.” You muttered tiredly, flipping to the next page. “Soul magic is dangerous, pick a spell that you are not strong enough to cast and you’ll die. Pick a spell that requires double the soul power than what you possess and you may kill others as well… there’s a reason it’s in the dark magic section.” She answered lightly, concerned for your well-being as she confiscated the book from your hands. She cupped your face with her hands and smiled sweetly, you could tell the pain of losing her son was still crippling, you could see it in her eyes, yet she smiled through it. “Y/N… Eir… it’s time to let go.” She insisted, the very thing you were avoiding to feel came creeping up.</p><p>Depression. You stared in sorrow, settling into the reality of her words and feeling a sense of hopelessness as she moved on. “When you’re ready, I’d like for you to be Thor’s companion… maybe visit Midgard, see the world, discover new things.” Was she just giving up? You didn’t want to be Thor’s companion; you didn’t want to go see the world… “I’m not ready.” You said softly, giving her a small smile to show that you meant no harm in your words. You hopped down from the windowsill and walked away, walking up to your new room, a smaller room down the hall from the prince’s bedrooms. Gripping the door handle, you paused… eventually letting it go and walking to Loki’s room instead. Something heavy just pulled at your heart, weighing you down as you took in the sight of the empty ghostly room. You slowly made your way to the silk sheets and collapsed into the bed, rolling onto your side and staring emptily at the wall. </p><p>Acceptance. You took a few days to think, in a room soaked in the memory of Loki. Frigga was right, you could be helping people, you could be helping Thor. You could see the world, like Loki wanted you to. You decided that you’d bind yourself to Thor and become his healer… <br/>They say there are 5 stages of grief, the emotions consume you… they’re alarms ringing in your head to warn you of the pain, but with all that noise in your head, did you stop to think about the fact that your magic contract was still in place? Now how could that be possible if Loki were dead… Your jaw slacked, sitting back down on the bed you stood from as the realization washed over you. “Oh my god…” Your heart began to race as you closed your eyes and focused on your magic, lifting your shaky hands and looking up at the gold Norse writing circled above you. Your contract, it was still perfectly in place, so Loki HAD to be alive. “Oh my god!” You exclaimed, joy quickly leaving, because where was he then? </p><p>You pulled a dress on as quickly as possible and ran down the hall to go and find Thor, checking just about everywhere until you found him sparring in the training ground. Good. You were dying for a minute to catch your breath before speaking to him. You looked up as someone handed you a water canteen, taking it and drinking some. “Heimdall, thanks.” You said, hearing him ask why you were here and in such a rush, you sunk down slightly. You had been in such a panic to find him, but this wasn’t the place or time, as eager as you were in your discovery. Walking up to someone training to bring up their dead brother would be a bit of a mood destroyer. “Heimdall, can I ask you something…? About Loki.” You clarified, at least he wasn’t busy sparring. </p><p>Nodding, he turned to slowly walk down the path with you as you talked. “How did he die?” You asked quietly. “He fell from the rainbow bridge.” He answered sympathetically. “Did you see where he landed?” You asked and he stopped walking. “Y/N, he would have frozen in space.” He explained. “But can you see him? do you know where he is? Surely, you’d be able to see his… uh, dead body.” You pushed, he looked at you sadly. “Y/N, I’m sorry… he’s gone. It’s been over a week; I don’t think I’d even be able to find him.” But he wasn’t gone, you weren’t crazy… he was out there. </p><p>How exactly did you think you’d find him without the help of Heimdall and Thor… especially since the one that could see everything was insisting that he was dead and gone. Should you trust that? Surely he looked over Loki when it happened over a week ago, but you knew what you felt, you knew what you saw. The contract was still intact. That was proof enough to bring the matter to Thor, right? Because if you didn’t, well who knows what would happen to the lost god. “Y/N!” You heard from down the path, speak of the devil… “I’ll see you around, Heimdall.” You answered, turning and walking over to Thor. “I saw you waiting for me, was there something you needed?” He asked. </p><p>You opened your mouth to speak before sensing pain, the same exact sense you got when Thor and Loki were fighting over a week ago. “Y/N?” He asked, Loki was being hurt, you could sense it… question was, who the hell was hurting him and where was he? Thor was standing right in front of you, but you couldn’t speak, consciousness fading on you… You were about to warp to him, thing is… you needed to tell Thor what you knew. “L… Lo-“ You tried, so hard, Thor may be your only hope, Loki’s only hope… but you couldn’t speak. Darkness slowly took you as you toppled over, Thor tried to catch you, eyes widening when you didn’t fall to the ground… you fell through it. </p><p>Your eyes remained closed, in a sleeping state as you fell through space, almost like you were Astral Projecting because you were flowing through anything in your path. As your body drew closer and closer to Loki, you began to see things behind your closed eyelids. A rocky land, a throne room, Loki hunched over at a pair of feet, a Titan… Every fairy tale has a villain, but is the villain of this story Loki? Or were you about to meet the villain?</p>
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